I know there’s nothing good in goodbye, But I have to say it..because it has to be said..in saying it, I know, I would be breaking your heart..as well as mine..
As I was setting on this gray bench..the air is getting colder…i tried to see some other colors around me except blue & gray…but no, there’s none…the sky is still blue..even the leaves that used to be green are now gray..the dust, the sand, the desert sun had turned them ochre gray…
..and this park that was animated with laughter..is now empty..only me & my shadow inhabit it at the moment..where were you..you who’s presence never failed me, even in my dreams…now this vast empty space in front of me..extends within me…
I am condemned to loneliness..even if I tried to reach-out..to the specter of your presence..because you’re not there..Occasionally I hear your laughter cutting through the silence..even the scent of the flowers, I have mistaken to be your scent..
And now, I thought I tasted salty rain..no, it’s not rain..it never rained in this deserted park for years..not even yesterday…I never thought of it..that these drops looking like corn kernels were from my eyes…no they’re not mine..or so I thought..how could tears replace rain that had been absent for years…no they’re not mine..but my mouth felt salty..every time I close my eyes..it used to be sweet, when it touches yours..but now that sweetness is gone…
I was hoping..that when I walked away from this bench, I would be seeing a mirage on the horizon, where you would be there, walking along the shore, near the vastness of the blue waters..and your laughter cutting the air ..while those silky hair floats on mid-air dancing with the bandana that tries to cover it because it was envious…
I have to say goodbye, because in doing it, it would do you good…Your tangled heart would be free…free to beat for whom it will..i love you but I can’t love you…my heart can not shackle your heart with a love that only serves itself…for then it wouldn’t be love..how could it be love if it’s passion strangles your heart and stop it it from beating..so goodbye now..even if there’s nothing good in goodbye..goodbye…
As I was setting on this gray bench..the air is getting colder…i tried to see some other colors around me except blue & gray…but no, there’s none…the sky is still blue..even the leaves that used to be green are now gray..the dust, the sand, the desert sun had turned them ochre gray…
..and this park that was animated with laughter..is now empty..only me & my shadow inhabit it at the moment..where were you..you who’s presence never failed me, even in my dreams…now this vast empty space in front of me..extends within me…
I am condemned to loneliness..even if I tried to reach-out..to the specter of your presence..because you’re not there..Occasionally I hear your laughter cutting through the silence..even the scent of the flowers, I have mistaken to be your scent..
And now, I thought I tasted salty rain..no, it’s not rain..it never rained in this deserted park for years..not even yesterday…I never thought of it..that these drops looking like corn kernels were from my eyes…no they’re not mine..or so I thought..how could tears replace rain that had been absent for years…no they’re not mine..but my mouth felt salty..every time I close my eyes..it used to be sweet, when it touches yours..but now that sweetness is gone…
I was hoping..that when I walked away from this bench, I would be seeing a mirage on the horizon, where you would be there, walking along the shore, near the vastness of the blue waters..and your laughter cutting the air ..while those silky hair floats on mid-air dancing with the bandana that tries to cover it because it was envious…
I have to say goodbye, because in doing it, it would do you good…Your tangled heart would be free…free to beat for whom it will..i love you but I can’t love you…my heart can not shackle your heart with a love that only serves itself…for then it wouldn’t be love..how could it be love if it’s passion strangles your heart and stop it it from beating..so goodbye now..even if there’s nothing good in goodbye..goodbye…
it's fine.. just don't dwell in loneliness. it's unfair. and who said that there's nothing good in goodbyes?..'course there "are". you'll see. :)
ReplyDeletehi Cissy..sorry i'm quite busy these days, that's why my blogsite is a bit in idle mode..thanks for your comment..btw i'm a filipino expat working here in uae..hopefully i get to write more often in the coming days..
DeleteIt was a touching post, as you delivered it well everything , seems coming from the heart.
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Deletethanks Chamadi..just got busy that's why i haven't updated my blogs..hopefully in the next few days..thanks for your comment..
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